Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
