apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
