well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
