Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize