Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
