i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
