I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
