Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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