Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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