Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
