Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
