Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
