Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
