we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
