I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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