I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
