I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
