when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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