I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
