It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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