I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
