bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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