She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
