I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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