is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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