hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im holly from the hills drunk
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
