what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
