My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
