:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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