if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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