dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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