when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
