For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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