she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
