I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
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have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize