best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
