i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
