My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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