32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
