The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize