I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
