This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
