I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize