thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
