If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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