I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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