Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
