i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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