sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
