if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize