I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
