Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
