you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
