My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
