Nicole vs. Life
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
