I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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