No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
