i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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