did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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