I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
