it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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