dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I want is dick and wine.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
