I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
