Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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