He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
