Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
