So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
