You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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