A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
