cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
